By: Adam Basciano
Disclaimer: The events described here are a fictional twisting of true events.
However, events may have played out this way in an alternate universe.
Unfortunately, we all remember the travesty of a film know as “Batman & Robin.” After 15 years of agony over the memory of that film, I bring good news for those who hate that film as much as I do. Two principal participants of that fiasco have been brought to justice. Actor’s George Clooney and Arnold Schwarzenegger, are finally being held accountable for the crimes they committed over a decade ago.
Clooney was arrested Friday morning in Washington during a protest. When fellow protestors realized who the actor was, they started a revolt and nudged the actor over the police line, demanding an arrest. Unfortunately, he was released that same afternoon after he began re-enacting scenes from the film. Guards and inmates alike couldn’t take it, and set him free.
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s extra curricular activities with the maid are well documented. In addition to being estranged from his wife, the former governor will have to pay some form of restitution to the creator’s of the Batman villain Mr.Freeze. The defamation of character is not only seen in the actor’s performance in the 1997 film, but also through audio tapes provided by the maid, where those awful puns from the movie can be heard during the adulterating coitus.
One of the criminals remains at large, director Joel Schumacher, who has largely gone unseen or unheard from since that dreadful film. Among the Batman fan base, Mr. Schumacher is known as the murderer of the Batman film franchise.